The first was of sex
two men were standing over a woman on her knees
and they were shoving her head down
on their massive cocks
and she was choking
and spittle came out of her mouth
and she made sounds
as is she were being beaten
and she looked through my computer screen
directly at me it seemed
and said
“I love sucking dick”
before she was shoved back down
and this time she was pushed down to far
and her eyes bulged out
and it was obvious
s he couldn’t breathe
but just before she choked out
the faceless man who held her
let her up
and as she pulled the dick out of her mouth
vomit came with it

The second was of violence
black and white grainy film
a scared Russian soldier
on a dead leafy ground
with a black boot pressed to his throat
muttering a foreign language
that is easily understood
and the faceless man whose boot it was
brought a knife into view
a knife with a short curve at the end
that resembled a reaper
and the man pressed the knife into the soldier’s throat
and the screams were gargled
and short
his blood spilled out onto the nature with the force of his pounding heart
and the faceless man twisted the knife in circles
and a sound that reminded me
of when I used to clean fish
came out of my computer speakers
and the knife was pulled sideways out of his throat
so that the skin of his neck ripped like fabric
and the blood spilled out in a fan shape
over the cold Chechnyan ground

Though in essence I was taking in information
I felt worse for my enlightenment
and less the man I was when I double-clicked